cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
