Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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