And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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