So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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