He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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