i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
