As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
