A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
