There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
