Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
