My liver just broke up with me...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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