i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
