K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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