You work out of a Hotel?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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