u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
