we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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