Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
