so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
