so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
