Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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