what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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