I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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