When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Houston, we have a blender
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
