I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
