Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
