Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
