im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
