Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I lost the right to judge tonight
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
