I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
