Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
