You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
