Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
