Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
