careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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