So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
