ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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