I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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