Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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