It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
