What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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