Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
