Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
