a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
