Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
