so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
