When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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