My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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