just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
