You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
