so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
