I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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