I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
